Who am I kidding??!!

The pain is real! I attempt to escape it but it still lingers. Nope... That doesn't mean my intentions are to move backwards. It just means that it hurts. I've literally ran myself into the ground to the point of extreme exhaustion just to escape the many thoughts running through my head. My pain has pushed me further into my purpose. I've been dragging my feet thinking that I've got all the time in the world but for some reason I've now got a sense of urgency. I have something to prove to myself. I've got to know that I went after my dream, no matter the consequences. I need something to occupy my mind. I've got to allow me, to heal from all the wounds inflicted upon me since I was little girl. I'm still hurting. From things past & things near. I'm hurting. I now allow myself to heal. FEARLESSLY!! I give myself permission to make myself happy. This is going to be a journey but I won't allow myself to feel sorry for me or to use hurt as an excuse anymore. Who am I kidding??!! I'm one the most honest, sincere & loving people that God created & I'm going to start walking as such! Head high, shoulders squared, more hurt may come but I stand with my feet firmly planted! I'm ready!