In my mind...

I love when I'm doing some random thing, like washing dishes, and a song pops into my head. Rarely is it a song that I've heard before. I've found that it is most often my heart. Today as I was just washing dishes,suddenly I just began singing... I love you Lord, I worship you. In truth, God, I worship you. This happens often. I'm not a singer, I'm not a writer but what I am is a worshiper!!! God I love you!!!

So long.. For so long...

For so long I've hid the real me. Not me, but ME!!! I've been afraid to express myself & chose not to communicate out of fear that I'd be hurt. See hurt is all I've known for a long time. It has led me directly into a trap of failure. Constant failure. I've got nothing to lose at this point. Giving 100% of myself is my only option. I mean giving until I can't give anymore. Love waits. Prosperity awaits. Peace awaits. Greatness is waiting. It's my turn to experience what I've never experienced. Happiness!! Real unadulterated happiness. The happiness that God designed for me to have when I was born! I forgive myself for allowing past hurt to keep me in bondage. I forgive those who hurt me because little did they know they broke my spirit so that God would get glory & I'd draw closer to Him!! Now is the time. My twelve o'clock is here. It's just no longer night. I'm ready to walk with a clear vision into the light!!

My Father... He's working on it!

Ahhh!!! That's how I feel! I want to scream! Funny how the enemy works. When I think something is completely out of my system then he steps in & reminds me. The pain is renewed. This time I won't allow it. I've moved beyond hurt & I'm angry. I'm allowing myself to be angry. When I'm angry things change! So when he crept in with his nonsense this time, I reminded him of what the word says, I took it to God. Why not? He's my father right? As a child our first instinct is to go to our parents to make everything okay, so that's what I did. Like a father... He'll make everything okay!

QOTD

“ Isn’t it fortunate how selective our recollections usually are. ” — Malcolm Forbes

Letter To The Hearts Pt 2 by Rob Hill Sr

Ran into this today... Love!!!!

QOTD

“ There is an old saying, The harder you try the luckier you get. I kind of like that definition of luck. ” — Gerald Ford

QOTD

“ Whether zeal or moderation be the point we aim at, let us keep fire out of the one, and frost out of the other. ” — Joseph Addison

In the morning...

I'm sitting here with a song stuck in my head this morning. I can't stop singing... It'll be all over, In the Morning!! I've heard that song a number of times in my life but this is the first time it's stuck with me. Last night I spent some real time with God. Placing every little thing that concerns me at His feet. Man oh man... In the morning! The song says, 'Ain't no need in worrying, what the night is gonna bring, cause it'll be all over in the morning.' Truer words have never been spoken. Something about placing your all at the feet of the One who knows you best. I'm so refreshed! Feel a thousand pounds lighter. When I said Amen, as tears were rolling down my face, I knew that it was over. Funny thing is, the tears weren't sadness but they were tears of joy. I'm full of joy because I KNOW that He hears & I know that He cares! God is so awesome! He steps in right when we need Him. If He doesn't just step in, we can step to Him at any moment & it's like no one else in the world exists but you & Him. It's as if heaven & earth is at a stand still as you command it's attention. Talk to Him folks! He's listening & He cares!

Have you ever...

Not sure what a young Brandy knew about this but...

Keep waking up

Tomorrow is not promised... This is true! I have faith in tomorrow though. I have to. During the darkest moments in my life, I take it one day at a time. My mantra is to keep waking up! I trust in God. Sometimes I tend to put too much faith in people. I trust them to be who they tell me they are. This isn't always the case though. Through it all, I call on THE ONE who NEVER leaves!! I don't have all these answers in life & this life that I live is good. I try to make an effort & focus on ALL the goodness around me. When I do that, things tend to get better. So... Tomorrow I go through the process of waking up again. I've allowed myself a week to stay in this place & I don't plan to revisit this place again. The love inside of me for people won't allow it! I will awaken tomorrow with a smile & leave the past behind me.

Focus Focus Focus!!!

Today I make the biggest step thus far, in my life & I can't focus!! My mind is simply all over the place.

Who am I kidding??!!

The pain is real! I attempt to escape it but it still lingers. Nope... That doesn't mean my intentions are to move backwards. It just means that it hurts. I've literally ran myself into the ground to the point of extreme exhaustion just to escape the many thoughts running through my head. My pain has pushed me further into my purpose. I've been dragging my feet thinking that I've got all the time in the world but for some reason I've now got a sense of urgency. I have something to prove to myself. I've got to know that I went after my dream, no matter the consequences. I need something to occupy my mind. I've got to allow me, to heal from all the wounds inflicted upon me since I was little girl. I'm still hurting. From things past & things near. I'm hurting. I now allow myself to heal. FEARLESSLY!! I give myself permission to make myself happy. This is going to be a journey but I won't allow myself to feel sorry for me or to use hurt as an excuse anymore. Who am I kidding??!! I'm one the most honest, sincere & loving people that God created & I'm going to start walking as such! Head high, shoulders squared, more hurt may come but I stand with my feet firmly planted! I'm ready!

Woosah....

I've not had much rest lately. I've not had much to eat lately. Not on purpose, but when something is bothering you, you tend to lose focus & lack the ability to remember such basic functions. I have lived a life based in truth. I make it a point to be completely honest with people & give 100% to what ever cause I'm dedicated to. The problem lies in trusting people to have the respect for you as you do for them. All I have in this world is my word & when I give it, I mean it! I may never understand the actions of others but I just pray that over time I don't lose the very essence of who I am as a person!

Breathe...

I've found recently that sometimes you have to let your soul release. However you need to do it you have to allow those emotions flow! Sometimes it will hit you at the most inopportune moments but when you have some time alone let it flow! If you need to scream, cry, kick or simply be quiet, do it! That moment will soon be over & in the next moment you are a bit stronger. The pain soon subsides & life goes on.

My Last Day Without You

Discovered this movie while browsing this morning. Looks really good. The song playing really caught my attention so I found it too.. Take a listen.

Is it or isn't it???

Oftentimes I can pull a lesson out of even the most hurtful situations & the happiest situations. Life happens & soon you realize that you won't always be able to pull a lesson from every thing you experience. For the first time in my own life I'm left speechless. This isn't something that happens often. I'll continue to search for that lesson though. It's in there hiding somewhere.